Someone I used to work with

As I was making my coffee this morning, my thoughts wandered to my past. My thoughts wandered and then became focused. Focused on one person. A guy I used to work with. I can't help but chuckle about my memories of this guy. I'll call him John.

After I graduated from college, I landed my first job. I'll call my first boss "Frank". He was a do-it-all guy in the accounting department. He was the right-hand man of "Diane" - the divisional CFO. Now, John had been on the job for a number of years and he reported to Frank. I was new on the job, so I had to work closely with John to learn my job.

What's unfortunate about that situation is that John felt threatened by my presence. Like I said. He'd been at the job for a number of years already. He didn't think the company needed a second person. Especially, a just-graduated young kid like me. I wasn't so young. I was 23! I was eager to learn. I was ready to do any kind of work to get the job done. I re-organized files. I put things in storage. I did WHATEVER task needed to get done. And I didn't complain. Maybe THAT is what made him feel threatened. He was 33 - only 10 years older than me. He didn't like to do anything but work on the computer. He felt it was beneath him to box things up. To clean up files. To dig out information.

One major thing about him? He didn't always smell "so fresh" at work. Yeah, I'm sure he showered. But why did he have that "the end of the day" scent to him when he just got to work? Did he not launder his clothes after every wearing? That's what I finally concluded. Thankfully, he wasn't butt-stinky foul smelling. So I made sure that my training time with him was as short as possible. I let him show me what needed to be done & then I went off and did what had to be accomplished. Whew!

We were fixed-asset accountants. That's right. I had to make sure the assets we purchased as a division were on the books correctly. I had to make sure the assets were paid for timely. Now John? He was anal. I mean REALLY anal. He wanted things HIS way or it was a problem. For our job, we had to obtain loads of information from another department. This department did the purchasing of most of the BIG assets that we had on the books. What's funny is that they were all free-spirited folks. They weren't much for details. I could tell when John would be on the phone with anyone from that group. He got this tone in his voice that sounded like he was saying "you idiots!" It drove me crazy! Why would he be so infuriating to these people that he needed information from? It turns out that department had the MOST fun working in it. They were the people who ended up being my friends. They were the ones I'd seek out when I got frustrated with my work environment.

When I first started, I wanted to be John's friend. But as time went on, I realized that he would always consider me an adversary. I decided to give him his space. I was professional. I no longer extented my hand out in friendship. But I included him when I had to. When it was "Boss' Day", I made sure to notify him of our gift giving strategy & made sure to get him to sign the card. But I never invited him to lunch. I never took breaks with him. None of that. I focused on the people who wanted to get to know me. Who wanted to be my friend. Even though I was not his friend, I made sure to remember occassions that he celebrated based upon his religion. It always surprised him when I would tell him "Happy ...." or whatever.

I left the company after 6 years. Then, I moved away with my hubby. I found out a year later that John fell in love and had got married. A year after that, I found out that John was getting a divorce. Needless to say, I wasn't surprised by that second bit of news. He was a difficult man to be around. But the news of his divorce did make me sad. Sad that he was alone again. Sad that he'd probably continue to be alone. It makes me raelize that WE have the choice to be WITH people. To be a part of other people's lives. To have people care about us. To care about others.

Now do any of YOU have a "John" in your life? A person who wanted to be your adversary for no apparent reason other than "just because"? Tell me about him/her! Go on! Share!

I'm sure I'll be bringing up lots of other tales of John. All the social foibles. All the drama. But there will be others from my past that I'll bring up. Some good. Some not so good.