What size am I?

I LOVE being able to hang out with my family. We always tend to end up telling stories about stuff that's happened to us. Here's a tale of a wayward lady looking for a new brassiere.

Location...Victoria's Secret

Sis#4: Mom, I need to get a couple new bras.

Mom: Okay.

Sis#4: Mom, why don't you get a new one too?

Mom: I don't know. I don't know what size I need.

Sis#4: Easy fix. Let's get them to size you.

Enter a Victoria's Secret sales rep.

VSR: How can I help you?

Sis#4: My Mom needs you to measure her for a new bra.

VSR: Alright.

The VSR commences to take my Mom to a fitting room & size her.

Sis#4: Thanks for your help.

Sis#4: Okay, so what's your size?

Mom: 34B

Sis#4: No way!

Mom: That's what she told me.

Sis#4: Mom. Come on. There is NO way you are a 34B. You've got nothing up there!

Mom: Ha!

My Mom (stubborn one there) goes through the store and finds a 34B style that she likes and purchases it. Without trying it on.

What happened next?

I came into town for my visit! We were sitting around my older sister's (Sis#2) family room listening to the tale of the latest bra purchase. I was rolling on the couch laughing hysterically at my Mom's purchase of a 34B. Let me tell you that she is FLAT. I mean FLAT! There is no way on this green earth that my Mom is a 34B.

I got up off the couch after I finished laughing. I wiped the tears from my eyes. I turned to my Mom and lifted up my shirt and showed her my 36B bra. I showed her how the darn thing kept my twins "high and tight". She giggled softly while Sis#2 and Sis#4 laughed even harder.

What's even funnier? She was wearing the bra that she'd purchased. She pulls up HER shirt and shows it to me. This got us even more in a tizzy.

Mom: See...it fits!

Me: Mom...it's supposed to fit against your skin. It's supposed to keep whatever you've got from sagging.

Mom: But I don't like it tight.

Sis#4: It's not going to be tight. It's supposed to just support you.

I'll give it to my Mom that the bra fit nicely around the circumference of her body. But the cups were TOO big. She'd purchased the kind of bra with the thick padding in it. The kind that can hold there own without anything in them.

Me: Mom!

Mom: What?

Me: The straps are falling off your shoulder!

Mom: I told you. I don't like it tight.

Me: The straps are supposed to fit snugly against your shoulder blades. They are NOT supposed to be sliding down off your shoulder.

I adjusted each side so they fit closely but did not cut into her skin.

Sis#2: Mom. You really should get a 34A.

Sis#4: I don't think she's even a 34A. Maybe an A minus.

We all start on another round of laughter with tears rolling down from our eyes. Thankfully, my Mom was laughing with us. She knows we're just trying to help her out. She's SUCH a good sport.