Weddings

I watched "Rob & Amber Get Married" the other night. This got me to thinking about weddings in general.

Wedding party

We had a total of 10 people in our wedding party. 1 ringbearer. 1 flowergirl. 3 Groomsmen. 3 Bridesmaids. 1 Bestman. 1 Maid of Honor. Pretty typical, right? I know people who have only had a bestman and a maid of honor in their wedding party. I know people who have had 10 ladies and 10 gentlemen in their wedding party. I don't really think the number in a wedding party really matters. Just as long as you honor the people in your life. I think the people in your wedding party reflect those people who have been or are currently in your life. People who have watched your relationship to your significant other develop and mature. My Hubs has a male cousin who is getting married next year. The bride? She had 6 bridesmaids and 1 Maid of Honor selected maybe two weeks after getting engaged. The male cousin? The groom? He has his best man selected. That's it. I've heard comments from Hub's side along the lines of the bride has SO many girls in the bridal party. So WHAT! It's her wedding! I'm sure she's been dreaming about who she'd have in her wedding with her since she was a little girl. Don't fault her for knowing this.

Day or night?

I had a late morning wedding with a lunch reception. I opted for that route because I didn't have the funds to have a late afternoon wedding with a dinner reception. I did enjoy my late morning wedding. The only issue was that I had to wake up so early in the morning to get ready. Granted, I did have a hair and makeup lady show up and get me dolled up. But it was still hard hauling myself up out of bed that morning. What was great about a morning wedding is that we got it over with. I didn't have to wait ALL day for the event to begin. I got up. Got ready. Got to the church. Got hitched. Went to the reception. No waiting around twittling my thumbs anxiously.

Who to invite?

When my older sister got married, she invited whoever my Mom told her to put on the list. So did my BIL. This resulted in a HUGE number at the reception. Me? I put my foot down. My Mom had this thing that if people were related to us that they needed to be invited. But what if I didn't actually KNOW these people? She still wanted me to invite them. Granted, they didn't necessarily have to end up coming. But why invite people if I didn't know them? Also, why invited people who have no IMPACT on my life? People we hadn't spoken to in years? Why? Tell me! Why? Much to my Mom's chagrin, I shortened the list she gave me. I let a few families slip by that I would have preferred not be invited though. I let her "win a little" but I "won the battle." On my husband's side? There are just so many blood relatives. Both my MIL & my FIL have 6 siblings each. All the siblings on each side are married. All of them have kids. That's a bunch of family.

Payments?

No wedding planner here. I organized my wedding. I carried a 3-ring binder with all my information. I grew up in the city where I got married, so I knew what I wanted. I chose the church and the pastor that presided over the event. I chose the reception site. I selected the florist and the arrangements. I chose the DJ. I chose the style of my girls' dresses and a seamstress to put them together. I found a photographer too. I paid for all these things.

Hubs organized and paid for the honeymoon. Or should I say the travel agent organized our honeymoon? Nonetheless, the honeymoon was my husband's responsibility. But it was a fantastic honeymoon. One that I desperately needed.

My parents ended up splitting the cost of the reception with me. My parents also paid for the rehearsal dinner -- we took over a local pizza joint. We had all the out-of-towners on the Hubs' side for dinner so we could spend more time with them. They also hosted a wedding gift opening later on that evening at their house.## Hubs parents? They paid for the reception bar tab.

Small church? Big church?

The question for some is...do you invite a bunch of people to the church or just a select few? Do you invite everyone from the reception to the church? Hard question. The church we had the ceremony at was very large and could accommodate everyone, so we invited everyone to both the ceremony and the reception. It was my fantasy church. It was full of light.

Small reception? Big reception?

I would have settled for a small reception, but with all the family? We had a big reception. 125 people or so. I would have preferred it be half of that, but it spiraled out of control at the end. I could only handle so much before I said "WHATEVER!" But the Hubs and I had a good time, so that's all that mattered. We had a buffet instead of a sit down meal. It was a lunchtime reception so we felt it was appropriate. When certain people heard it was going to be a buffet, they were like "What? Why not a sit-down meal?" I never know what I want to eat when I go out. A buffet allowed each guest to decide what he or she wanted to eat. Granted, the DJ had to coordinate the tables going to the buffet table and all the guests had to listen and cooperate. But hey! If they want to eat, then they have to cooperate. Everyone ended up enjoying the food.

Alcohol

For some odd reason, when my Hubs family gets together there's always alcohol. Beer is the drink of choice. A couple weeks before the wedding, the Hubs mother asked him if there was going to be an open bar. Open bar? At an afternoon reception? We hadn't even thought about it. Now WHO would pay for that? Well, the Hubs ended up feeling pressured into having it. Thank goodness, his parents decided to cover the cost. I seriously have no clue as to WHY having alcohol is so necessary at a family gathering. Can't these people have a good time without it?

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Weddings can be a pain in the neck to coordinate. If you aren't being helpful to the bride and groom, then shut your traps. If you aren't paying for something, then your opinion DOES NOT count. If you're not actually contributing your time to organizing the event, then stay out of the bride and groom's way. This way....the bride and the groom can get things done without anyone's belly-aching hanging on their every move. Just enjoy the event when it comes. Again. Stay out of their way. It's THEIR DAY! THEIR DAY! Not yours.

No seriously. Weddings are my all-time favorite kind of party. I enjoy watching a ceremony. I love the fighting of tears. I love the nervousness of the bride or the groom. I like to watch as they walk down the aisle as "Husband & Wife" with huge smiles on their faces. It's an amazing moment. A new start to a new life together.

## Only my Hubs' parents showed up for this. My parents had planned it as another opportunity for the out-of-towners to gather together. Hubs' family? They all made arrangements to meet up at some bar.