How would you react?

Okay people. Here's an email. If you parents received it from your adult child, how would you react?

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Hi folks! How are you doing? Hopefully all is well.

I'm wondering if you still had plans to move out here. Last I recall, you planned on putting the house up for sale in January. Does that mean if you sell it that you'd move out soon after? Or were you planning on waiting until after LilSis gets married in May?

I'm going to start a new part-time job. We had planned for me to start working part-time so that we could save some money for the three weddings we have to attend in a 6 week timespan next year (April - May) and lowering our debt. But as fate would have it, my car is breaking down and I'm having to get a new one. Instead of the money going to savings & paying down debt, it'll now be going to pay for my new car. So instead of getting ahead, we'll be standing still financially.

Yes, a full-time job would get me a bigger hourly rate which would mean a bigger paycheck. But there's no way I could manage a full-time job. I can only work part-time because I need to drive the Princess to and from school. And I don't want the Bear to be in daycare for 9 hours a day. It's hard enough for me to imagine him being in daycare for 6 hours a day.

Just to let you know that this is a hard email for me to write. You know I don't talk about my problems with anyone. I don't put my issues out there so that others will worry. I don't like to ask for anything from you. But I want you to know what's happening. Please read it a couple times to be sure to understand what I'm trying to say.

For the past 3 years or so you've been eluding to the fact that you were going to move out here. And I'm still waiting patiently for that to happen. I hate to ask (and you know that I do) but I want to be sure of your plans so I can figure out what I'm doing.

If you are serious about moving out here, could you give me some sort of time-frame on WHEN you'd be out here?

If you are NOT serious about moving out here, then I need to know that so I can plan accordingly.

You know I love you both with all my heart. Whatever you decide for your future is fine with me. Just let me know so I can do what I need to do.

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Okay. Now you've read what's been churning in my mind.

I never ask my parents for much. I paid for college. I bought my own car. In high school I would walk. I helped with their janitorial business in the evenings. I used to pick LilSis up from elementary school. I paid for 85% of my wedding. I found all my jobs on my own. I bought my own condo (no co-signing from the folks). Same holds true for Sis#2.

Sis#1? Has asked for money more than a handful of times. She's even asked for airfare when they come out for visits. My parents gave her their old van that they never use. And they gave her an old Tercel when her kids needed a vehicle to drive to and from high school.

LilSis? You regulars know that my folks bought her a fancy car. She's never worked for a paying job her entire life (she's currently interning and has volunteered places). She gets money to go to school because my father has 100% disability from the military (which wasn't the case when Sis#2 & I were in college). She comes and goes as she pleases.

My Dad told me that they would be moving out here "...to help with the kids..." "...it's your turn..."

When someone tells you that, would you think it would take years? I mean. I need help now. If you're not going to move out for 3 more years than FORGET IT! Both kids will be in school by then and I won't need help. But I can't SAY that to them.

I'm sure a lot of you probably think I'm being selfish. That I'm an adult and that I should be able to handle my own situation. Fine. I realize that. But when people tell me things? I rely on their word. Don't tell me things and then don't act accordingly. I'm frustrated with them is all.

[Big sigh]

I just need to shake off my disappointment. Deal with it. Move on. I know....