Hard news to hear

I've been contemplating this topic for a while. I can't help but write about. It's bothering me so much.

A lady I've known for many years informed me of something that is going on in her life. She found out that her husband was having an affair with someone. An emotional affair. My friend found out that her husband was having an online email affair with someone. An affair that had been going on for a few years. A physical affair is one thing but I'm sure that for most women, an emotional affair is even more of a betrayal.

My friend was more than shocked to read the emails that her husband had written. The words that were written were so dramatically different than what her husband would say to my friend. I mean, there was smutty talk. I was surprised to hear the types of words that were written. I have no idea the trauma it caused my friend emotionally. I mean, I was disgusted to hear some of the stuff. SHOCKED is more accurate. I had to cover my ears and shake my head for her to stop giving me details. I couldn't stand it.

I know, you're probably wondering how my friend was able to read the emails. Her husband set up his own private email account. But he set it up under their joint AOL account, so she saw it in their AOL listing. He wasn't smart enough to set up a totally separate Yahoo or Hotmail account. So he got caught.

Not only was I surprised to hear about this betrayal, I was even more surprised to hear that my friend had confronted her husband. She told him that she had found his email. That she had read the emails he'd written to that other person. That she had DELETED the email account that he'd set up. That she knew what he was up to....but she was willing to work it out.

WHAT THE HE%@????

Yes. She told him she would forgive him. That made my head just about spin off my shoulders. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that she was forgiving him. But that is HER decision. It just surprised me in a big way.

So the two of them are working it out. They are still married. It's been 1 1/2 years since my friend found out. And she is JUST telling me. But man! She had such passion and anger in her voice when she told me. THAT is why I'm surprised that she's still married to him. That after all this time, she is still so filled with vile emotion over it. I mean, she was pissed to the 10th degree. And there she is still living her life with him. I guess I have to applaud her commitment, but I just don't understand it.

I did take the opportunity to share this news with the Hubs. He and I discussed what my friend told me. And I explained to him that if he ever did anything like that to me? That he'd be cut off at the knees. And he knows I'm serious.

It wasn't a physical affair, but would you forgive your spouse for doing this for over 3 years? Yes. This guy was doing this email business for at least 3 years. THREE YEARS! Now....what would you do if you were in this situation?