Sunday, April 27, 2008

Another one bites the dust

Yesterday, we all stepped out for dinner. We went to a restaurant about a mile from our house. It's one of those mass production places -- not a fine cuisine restaurant. A basic meal for a family when no one wants to cook.

We were seated and approached for our drink order within a couple minutes of sitting. And when I looked up? It was the Mom of one of the Princess' classmates. The gal who was sassy to the Princess. The one who want jealous of the Princess' long-standing friendship with one of the girls. The Princess has a hot-cold relationship with both girls. It all depends on how 'sassy' the girls are feeling. But the Princess just rolls with it. She lets the two girls approach her to play. This way she's sure they're in a good mood.

Anyway, the mom came up and we gave our drink order. When she came back with our drinks and completed getting our food order, I let her know that we recognized her.

Me: You're H's Mom, right? Princess is in her class.
Gal: Oh...that's right! Hi Princess, how are you?
Prin: Fine.
Gal: Did you go to the 'dance' last night?
Me: Yes. We did. We saw your husband with the kids. Were you working?
Gal: Yes. I had to work.

I pulled out my camera.

Me: I think I got some photos of H.
[scrolling through the shots]

Me: Ah....here are a couple.
[I show her the screen and scroll through the shots of her daughter]

Gal: Oh...there she is! Hopefully, my husband got some photos. It looks like they had fun.
Me: Yes. The kids had a good time.
Gal: I'm not sure if you know but my husband and I aren't together. We're separated. About 4 months ago.
Me: Oh, I didn't know that. I'm sorry to hear that.
Gal: Earlier today, the kids and I moved up the road here. On the right.
Me: You did? Well great. We live up the road too. We're on the left. Since you're so close then we can get the girls together over the summer. They'll need something to do.
Gal: That would be great.

We exchanged numbers. So I've got options for the Princess when she's not at the Y.

But I seriously had NO IDEA that these two were separated. And if they were separated four months ago? That's just during the holiday season. Geez! What a time to be separated. Happy New Year! [bleah]

To tell you the truth? It makes sense now. The last time I saw H's Dad, I asked him if where his little guy was during the kindergarten round-up. He said something like I guess his wife didn't know about it. He sounded vague and detached. It makes all the sense in the world. Now.

It's just sad that their marriage is crumbling. they've got two kids that are my kids age. The daughter is in my daughter's class. The son will be in kindergarten with the Bear. It makes me sad. But this is the 3rd marriage that I've found has crumbled within the last 6 months.

The first marriage I found was heading for divorce was my former neighbor. Her husband actually is a contractor who works in the Middle East. He is in charge of the guys who repair the helos. He's done that job since we moved here into our house 3 years ago. We've only seen him about 4 times when he's come back and visited (for a week each time). It turns out this last visit during the holiday season, the two talked and they're heading for a divorce. I found this out soon after the Bear's birthday party in January (which the gal and her daughter attended). I just found out last month that a key reason for the divorce is that the gal? She's got a boyfriend on the side. Uh...yeah. She's also got a 17 year old son from her first marriage and 2 daughters (9 and 5) from this marriage.

The second marriage I found had ended was the Bear's buddy's parents. Again at the Bear's birthday party, I found out that she had just completed her divorce in the Fall 2007. She talked about what a struggle and adjustment it was to be a single parent to a 5 year old son and a 3 year old daughter. She's a teacher, so she'll be free this summer for the boys to get together.

There is just sadness in my heart that marriages are crumbling around me. Marriages that have kids involved. Kids that are my kids' age. It makes me realize how vulnerable marriages are. No matter how young kids are. Parents separate and get divorced all the time. This is just the first time I've known so many couples that are no longer together. [shaking head] It blows my mind.

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