Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Officially official

Little did I know on when I last posted that I was actually already divorced!

My attorney emailed me late Sunday to let me know that he got the signed papers in the mail. That the papers had been finalized on Tuesday, May 28th. Right after Memorial Day weekend.

It felt strange to read the email. It was so surreal. To realize that it really was over. Granted, there are some minor "housekeeping" items to get done, but in reality it's done. Finito.

What was another slam dunk moment for me was last Friday morning. The last morning that my now-ex-husband was leaving for work. The last morning that he'd wake up in the same house with me and the kids together. I gave him a "final" hug good-bye. I held on for a while. I couldn't help it. There was a part of me that still remembered the young man who came into my life unexpectedly. That was the person I wanted. That was the person I missed. But that person doesn't exist anymore.

Most people say that we change as we age. We do change. But marriage really is about what we said in our vows. Being together through sickness and in health. Being together through the good times and the bad. To love and honor and cherish. For some, these words are just words. Others (like me) really take it to heart. And it's been difficult to let go. It's taken me months and months to work through it all.

I have to confess something. I'm the first one on my side of the family to get a divorce. Seriously. Everyone is still married. My sisters. My parents. My aunts and uncles. No one on my side of the family is divorced. I'm the first. And I felt like such a failure about not being able to save my marriage. I felt embarrassed that I couldn't make it work. But ultimately, a marriage takes TWO people to make it work. If only one person is putting in the effort to keep the ship afloat, then it's not going to work. So I stopped trying and now I'm divorced.

That's all there is for that chapter of my life. I don't think I'll be talking about my now-ex-husband anymore. It'll be about the adventures of me and my kiddos. Our lives as we move on from here. The Three Musketeers ride on once more!

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