Remembering her birth...

My Princess turns four today...

I cannot believe the time has flown by so quickly. It seems just yesterday that she was a tiny little baby. But alas, time marches forward and she is now four years now.

I recall that Friday night when the contractions started. My hubby was just going to bed when I mentioned that I thought I was starting to have contractions. I slept as much as I could that night as I continued to have contractions about 20-25 minutes apart.

Saturday morning I figured that I'd eat lightly. They say you shouldn't eat anything heavy when you're in labor, so I had a bagel with cream cheese. I then ate some soup for lunch. My contractions got closer together. Once they became 10 minutes apart, it was about 4pm. We went to the hospital so I could get checked. As we drove to the hospital my stomach felt like it was in knots. We got to the triage area and they got me in a gown. Can you believe that I was only 2cm dilated? They hooked me up to a machine to check my contractions. As I lay there my stomach started to get more and more irritated. I had "to go" and I had "to go" really fast. My hubby tracked down a nurse to unhook me and I ran as fast as I could to a bathroom. I barely made it! My body was in overdrive and I couldn't control it. It was horrible! Once they got a good tracking of my contractions, they sent me home. I spent another restless night dealing with contractions.

Sunday we stayed home and watched football. Actually, my hubby watched football and I tried to stay relaxed. About 4pm, I told him we were going to the hospital again. My contractions seemed stronger and were consistently staying at about 7 minutes. We got to the triage area, got me gowned and hooked up to a monitor. When the nurse came around to check me, she found that I was 3cm. What the hell? I had only progressed 1cm? I was about to strangle someone when I felt a "pop" and a sudden onslaught of wetness. She had accidentally broken my bag of water. Horray! What am I cheering about? It's because they couldn't send me home now!

I got situated into my labor & delivery room pretty quickly. I opted for the epidural right off the bat. They got me hooked up to the monitors to check my contractions and to monitor the baby. I wasn't there too long when my OB showed up. He gave me a once over - checked how I was feeling, looked at the strength of my contractions, and then checked the baby's monitor. He told me that I was only 3.5cm and that I was starting to show signs of preclampsia. Uh-oh! Then it turns out the baby wasn't doing so hot. She wasn't really reacting when I had contractions. Usually, when a Mom has contractions the baby's heart rate will decrease. Once the Mom's contractions stop the baby's heart rate will increase. So with all that information, I told him to go ahead and do a c-section. I had a feeling that was coming. My Mom had c-sections with all us four girls. My sister had 3 c-sections. My black sheep sister though had 3 vaginal births (go figure!).

Anyway, I was prepared for the possibility of a c-section. My hubby and I had already discussed what he would do in the event that were to happen. He'd stay with the baby because he knew my OB was a very capable guy. We didn't want her to be alone after she was born. So they prepared me for my c-section. They did it FAST too. Once they know a baby needs to come out, they move at lightening speed! All of a sudden I found myself being rolled into the operating room. They had given me something stronger so I felt drunk and disoriented. They actually wanted me to scoot myself from the gurney to the operating table. I kind of looked at them like "what?" but I tried to get up. Yeah! I had gained 55 pounds during the pregnancy and they wanted me to shift my "drunken" pregnant body from one place to another? Thankfully they took mercy on me and grabbed the sheet that was under me and pulled me across to the operating table. They strapped me down and put the drape (curtain) up so I couldn't see anything. Then they got my hubby into the room - he made a point of staying behind the curtain. We both agreed that he couldn't handle seeing anything messy "down there".

My OB started the procedure. I could tell that he was doing stuff because I could feel pulling and tugging. Of course, I was feeling NO pain! You know the weirdest thing? I knew exactly when they pulled her out of me (at 9:28pm). All of a sudden there was no pressure up against my lungs. I actually felt like I couldn't get enough air! I had to put the oxygen mask on. I think my lungs couldn't handle that suddenly there was all this space after all those months of being cramped up. They whisked my girl out of there with my hubby trailing. They sewed me back up as I lay there learning how to breath again. Then came the wild ride into the recovery room. Whoever had the gurney was driving it WAY too fast. I felt like I was in a race car! I suddenly felt nauseated. I raised my hand and mumbled "I'm feeling sick!" They grabbed one of those little dishes and I lost it. My body was out of control again!

They rolled me into the recovery room and there they were. My daughter and my husband. She was so tiny! Only 5lb 9oz. Turns out that the placenta was smaller than it should have been, so that's why she was so tiny. I gained all that weight and she was an itty-bitty! What I remember when I first held her was these large soulful brown eyes starring right back at me. I was a Mommy!

Oh my Princess, how I love and adore you. Your curiosity challenges my patience and makes me view this world in a new way. The joy you have within you makes my soul smile. Your frowns make my heart sad. Your fears make me want to hug and protect you. Your giggles make my insides warm. It's been a wonderful journey these last four years my Princess. The bad moments I've had with you have seemed long and difficult, but there have been so many more happy moments that make those trying times all worth while. I am sure we'll continue to battle it out as you continue to grow and learn more about the world and learn to assert yourself. But I want you to learn to stand up for yourself. Challenge the world. Be a strong Princess!