At least it wasn't cold spaghetti

The latest family wedding is over. Overall it was fun but MAN there were bumpy moments.

It was an outdoor wedding at 5pm in Arizona. So it was hot. No fans. No misters. So we sweltered for about a half hour. We sat on the far right of the right section of sitting so we got the "most" shade from the trees that surrounded the area. I felt SO bad for the groomsmen. They were in their long sleeve shirts and jackets. AND they were in the sun. I'm sure they were sweating like crazy.

The wedding started at 5pm. My SIL got there as the procession was going down the aisle. Instead of standing in the back and not disturbing anyone, my SIL decided to walk to our row and ask us to move over.

Hubs: Why don't you go over there?
SIL: Just scoot over.
Hubs: Maybe you should show up on TIME.
SIL: Shut up!

She then proceeds to push her way through the narrow row and then "share" a chair with my MIL on the inner portion of the row. Now what would YOU do in that situation? Coming in late, wouldn't you just go stand in the back at least until the processional finished? Ugh!

In the reception hall that was in the building next to the outdoor wedding site, we were able to select where we were going to sit. The sun was shining through the the windows above the entry doors. My MIL selected a table in the sun and right on the dance floor. My BILs wife and I selected a round table in the corner which was in the shade AND furthest away from the dance floor. We ended up at the table in the shade. Of course, with it being the end of the day the sun was moving like crazy. And we eventually ended up in the sun. And we sat in the following order in clockwise order --> The Princess, SIL, the Bear, the Hubs, me, BILs wife, BIL, MIL, and FIL. But since the sun was setting, we spent the least amount of time in the sun. Thank goodness. But that didn't help because...

MIL: Well, there goes the idea about sitting at a table that was in the shade!

My BILs wife and I just looked at each other and blinked. Yeah. Whatever!

The waiters set out the bread baskets. Unfortunately, there was nothing to put them on. Don't these people watch Top Chef?

SIL: Anyone want bread? But we've got nothing to put them on!
MIL: No plates?

My MIL moved napkins and looked around the table. No. There were no plates on the table. My SIL gave the kidlings a roll and got one for herself. A few minutes later, I stopped a waiter as he headed back to gather more bread baskets.

Me: Excuse me? Are there any bread plates?
Waiter#1: Oh no. There aren't any. We weren't provided any.
Waiter #2: What? What's wrong?
Waiter #1: She asked if we had any bread plates.
Waiter #2: Oh yeah. You'd think they would have given us some since they were serving rolls but they didn't give us any.
Me: Okay. Thank you. At least we know. I just asked and they weren't provided any bread plates.

Once I got settled back at the table after going through the buffet line, I decided it was time to gather some bread. The basket still sat in front of my SIL. She was busy getting the kids' ketchup, so I got up and walked around the round table and got the basket. I saw down, selected a piece of bread, and then offered some to the Hubs, who sat to my right. He got a piece and as I rotated myself to the left to offer the basket to my BILs wife when I heard....

MIL: Can I get the bread over here?
Me: I'm passing it around.

The basket goes around and finally gets to my MIL. She and my FIL get some bread.

MIL: There's no butter left!

I ignored her. When I got the basket there was barely any butter so I chose not to get any from the little tin. I saw there was hardly any butter so I chose to pass the basket (especially since she wanted it so desperately). A few minutes later, I stopped a waiter who was walking by empty-handed.

Me: Excuse me? May we please have more butter?
Waiter #3: Oh sure. I'll be right back.

He came back in another minute and handed me the little tin. There was like one teaspoon of butter in there. I took a swipe of the butter and was putting it onto my bread, as the Hubs took a little butter.

MIL: Can you pass that butter over here?
Me: Uh...I'm using it right now.

OMG! I handed it to the Hubs cousin's wife who took a little as well. Then my MIL got it.

MIL: They didn't give much, did they?

I don't think anyone responded to her. So she just hemmed and hawed to my FIL. My FIL flagged down a waiter, asked for more butter, and found out that they ran out of butter. HA! So it was the caterer at fault. Not the wait staff.

We ended up eating baked chicken with a mushroom dressing, pot roast (which was sliced for us), small baby potatoes, and corn. The Hubs and I joked quietly to each other that at least it wasn't cold spaghetti. About 10 years ago, we attended an outdoor wedding reception where the only thing to eat was cold spaghetti. And it was an outdoor reception in the evening in December. It was COLD outside and they didn't have any heaters. Brrr... So this reception was much nicer.

But as buffet food goes, what we were served was disappointing. The chicken was dry, even with the mushroom sauce on top. The pot roast was dry as well. And we didn't have steak knives to cut with. We had to use our butter knives, which made eating a little more challenging.

SIL: I think I'm going to have to go through drive-through after I leave here!

What my SIL failed to notice was that the wedding videographer was less than 10 feet away from her shooting wedding party (which was the table to my left). And y'all know what a piercing (translated as loud) voice my SIL has. I am SURE that the equipment picked up on her comment. I wonder what her cousin (the one who got married) is going to say if that clip makes it into the final wedding tape. AH! She never seems to get the fact that she has to turn DOWN the volume.

Anyway, to try to change the topic I asked my SIL about her job search. There's no where for her to go up the ladder where she's at, so she's got to move on to get to a higher payscale.

Me: So how is the job search going?
SIL: I have an interview on Monday with XXXX in California.
Me: Really? That's great.
SIL: Yeah. I was surprised I got an interview with them.
Me: Why is that?
SIL: I interviewed with them four years ago. They didn't have ANYTHING good to say about me.
Me: What do you mean?
SIL: Yeah. I went in there and I wasn't nervous. But I guess they read that as being cocky.

Let me tell you people that she can be a cocky bitch. Kind of like that bad attitude she had with the Hubs about trying to get a seat during the wedding. She acts like she knows everything. Even about stuff she has NO experience with. Like being a mother. Did you know that I caught her in a lie? While we were eating, the Hubs and my SIL started talking about the last Saturday's football game.

Bear: Oh the football game? Remember I had Skittles?
SIL: Oh yeah. You had a couple of those.
Me: What? Skittles at the game? [I look at the Bear]
Bear: I ate some.
Me: Bear, how many Skittles did you eat? A lot?
Princess: I know! I know! [raising her hand like she's in class]
Me: You do?
Princess: He had the WHOLE BAG of Skittles.
Me: The whole bag, huh? He's not supposed to have that much sugar....

I look at the Bear. I caught him with my eyes and he knew he hadn't told me the truth. I then look at my SIL. But she was looking at her plate. And she didn't look up. Let me say that the Hubs has mentioned to his family that the kids aren't allowed a bunch of sugar. I wouldn't have an issue if the Bear had a handful of Skittles (which would equate to about 5-8 candies). An ENTIRE BAG of Skittles is a whole other situation -- and is an ISSUE. So the entire table heard the exchange. My SIL got busted in a full out LIE. And the Hubs family got to see my reaction. My stern look. My statement that they are not supposed to have that much sugar. My intake of breath because I didn't want to lose it as I looked at my SIL. Hopefully, these people will listen THIS time (yeah right!). Because it's MY kids they're dealing with. And if they don't want to have the bitchy side of me come out? Then they'd better F-ing listen to our rules. Once my SIL has kids then she can give me her point of view on children and raising them. But until then? She better shut her pie-hole! Sorry...she ticks me off.

People, I know I'm complaining. Pointing out the negatives. But I did have fun. I did! I got to get dressed up. The kids got dressed up. We got to eat out and see the distant fringes of my FILs family (who we never get to see). But did you notice that all the awkward moments centered around my MIL and SIL? I had no issues with anyone else. NO ONE ELSE! Just those two. Those two....always those two!

Anyone else have one or two relatives that drive them crazy?