She didn't mean to say it

I had a conversation with Sis#2 over the weekend and what she said is still haunting me.

She mentioned a conversation she had with our Mom. What our Mom said is really bothering me.

Mom: Grace can be so MEAN sometimes.

My Mom thinks I'm a mean person! That's her opinion of the type of person I am. And that bothers me.

Sis#2: Mom, she doesn't intend to come off mean. She just tells people like it is. Grace is very black and white. If she doesn't like something she let's you know. She doesn't beat around the bush. She doesn't keep you guessing on where she stands on things.

I think that the fact that Sis#2 felt like she had to explain to my Mom how I am as a person is kind of devastating to my spirit. That my sister had to defend ME to my Mom.

When the kids act up in a naughty manner? Time out? Sometimes. But they do get scolded -- confronted that they've acted up. The two do respond differently at being scolded. I know this. AND when they are acting up? The root cause of their sassy behavior is different. I know this. So I treat them differently when discipline is in order. Why? Because they respond differently. But that doesn't mean I'll scold one and not the other for the same behavior. They each get scolded for the same naughty stuff. I try hard to stay consistent on the rules. But each of my children is different. And I try my best to understand them.

I hope that when I'm old and the kids are adults, I don't interpret their core self as them being "mean". I hope that I'm able to see them for the people they are. That if one is like me and sees things in black and white...that I'll be able to SEE this and not see their opinion as being harsh. That I see that is just how he or she is MADE.

I hope I remember how I'm feeling right this second. The feeling that my own parent doesn't understand me after 29 years [uh-hmmm] of knowing me. That my own parent doesn't KNOW me. It hurts. For some reason that one comment stings. I hope I remember....I hope....