Sadness in my heart

Yesterday, the Hubs forwarded an email from his Mom to me.

What I read made my heart sink.

The Hubs has a cousin "RS" that I adore. RS was the first member of the Hubs family that I met. He made me feel comfortable right off the bat. And he's kind of like me. Accepting but cautious of new people. Loving. Private. RS is married and has two daughters. I adore his wife "DS" as well because she's just like RS. They moved to the South this summer because RS got a fabulous contract job.

It turns out that DS mother is sick and has been in the hospital for a few weeks now. Someone actually called DS and told her that her mom has an infection. And that DS should come to the hospital as soon as possible.

Reading this made me stop. It was such a feeling of deja vu. You see, the same thing happened seven years ago in my family. A few days after Christmas 2001, my Mom called me around 2am. My Grandma got sick after Thanksgiving. And she was getting even more sick. My folks had place my Grandma into a hospice facility about a week into her illness because she needed 24 hour care. When my Mom called she spoke in a whisper on the verge of tears.

Your Grandma is getting more sick. If you can come, I think that would be best.

That's all I needed to hear. I was up like shot. I was on the phone with Southwest and booked a flight 20 minutes after I finished speaking with my Mom. The Princess and I were scheduled for a mid-morning flight. It was a pretty booked flight so I could only get the Princess on as a lapchild. The Princess was 15 months old and she did not enjoy that flight. She cried as we went up into the air. I was like an empty shell. I didn't know what to think. It was all too overwhelming. All I could do was hold my girl close and rock her as I whispered "It's okay. It's okay." into her ear.

The Princess and I visited with my Grandma. I sat on a chair next to the bed while I held my Grandma's hand and spoke to her. The Princess sat on the edge of the bed and patted my Grandma's arm as I spoke. I talked about our life. How much my Grandma meant to me. How much I loved growing up with her in our house. That I learned to love people by watching her and my Mom. I let her know that I knew that she was in pain physically and that she could let go when she felt it was right. That we were here and that we'd help my Mom. It was hard to say but it was important to say. Sis#1, Rambo, and their girls made it in the late afternoon. They all sat and had their time speaking with my Grandma. We were all there in the late evening.

The next morning we were all driving into the hospice. LilSis drove the Princess and I in from my Mom's house. We were circling the hospice when we got a call. My Grandma had passed away. She finally let go as the sun was rising that morning. It was December 31.

I actually think that my Grandma waited until that morning to allow herself to go. I think she waited until we were all together. And she didn't want to spoil Sis#1 birthday, which was Dec 30. So she waited until that glorious morning to release her spirit.

And so....this situation with DS and RS reminds me of what I went through. And my heart breaks for them as they go through it. So if you have a loved one that you cherish? Please let them know how much they mean to you.