Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Observations at the Mall

Dude in the car:

Do you not see that it's a 45 mph street? WHY are you driving at only 30 mph? If you can't SEE ahead that far than maybe you just shouldn't be driving. Hand your keys over man!

Lady and her boyfriend:

Girl? I know it's hot outside. But just because you can get those shorts zipped and buttoned, DOES NOT mean you should wear them. You need to check what's going on in the back. Because those shorts? Are super short. And I don't think a gal who is over 40 needs to have her butt cheeks peeking out.

1st kiosk worker:

When I'm walking through the mall and you say "hi" in that perky way, I'm pretty much obligated to say "hi" back to you. But if I'm walking fast and I don't break my stride AND I shake my head as I'm saying "hi"? That means I DO NOT want to stop and chat with you about your cellular service. I mean it when I shake my head. NO. But you continue to try to get me to stop by your kiosk. again. When I put up my hand like a stop sign? Why do you get a hurt look on your face? I didn't break my stride. I shook my head. Persistence is one thing, but if you're in sales you definitely need to learn the signs that folks ARE NOT interested. Seriously. And because of you? I don't believe I'll EVER buy a cellular phone with your company. Yes. It's true.

2nd kiosk worker:

Did you seriously not notice how I whizzed by the first guy? How I gave him the hand? And you STILL have to try to interrupt my mission? You think I'm going to stop when you say,"Oh....let me look at your nails and we'll talk." Is that your pitch to get me to stop? Oh my goodness! You'll see my un-manicured nails and dog me on them. No. Thank. You.

Group of 4 people:

Do you all seriously need to walk shoulder to shoulder and take up the entire walkway? And then walk at 1 mph? You might be meandering in the mall but there are other people at the mall who need to get in and out. When the Hubs and I do go to the mall, we walk two-by-two. Each of us walks with one of the kids. This way we're considerate of others and not blocking anyone's ability to get around. So you four people? You four ADULTS? How about you walk two-by-two. Like Noah and the Ark? This way you don't take up the entire walkway and allow others to pass.

AHHH!!!!! This is the reason why I don't like going to the mall.

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