Thursday, April 25, 2013

Groggy blogging

The procedure is done. It was one of those in-office things where they still had to knock me out. So my husband HAD to drive me to and from my OB's office.

I have to tell you that I was starving when it got closer to my appt time of 12:20pm. Thankfully, I had woken up at 3am and made myself eat a PBJ sandwich along some soy milk. I also downed about 32 ounces of water.  I can't imagine how much more hungry and thirsty I would have been if I hadn't done that. Even my OB applauded my actions. I guess there were some ladies who last ate at dinner and were super cranky before their procedure.

The anesthesiologist's assistant told me that she'd had this same procedure done 7 years prior. I said "I didn't even know about this one until a couple months ago." She said once she healed up that she hadn't had ONE drop of blood. OH.MY.GOODNESS! I can't imagine NOT having to restock on tampons, pads, overnight pads, and panty liners every month. Can you say freedom?

Ever since my first c-section, I have appreciated anesthesiologists. They are essential for any required or optional surgery. They give GOOD drugs. I've never had one that has disappointed me. Today was no exception. We talked! Yes, I was starving and I wanted to talk about food. He just laughed at me...or should I say WITH me on my apparent desire to eat. Before the procedure he said "I like this patient. I'm going to give her lots of x (I don't recall the name)." It must have been the stuff that makes you feel drunk because I was super loopy afterwards.

I remember my OB saying "okay let's get started" and I looked at the anesthesiologist a second before I got a metallic taste in my mouth. I said "hmmm...metallic" and I was out for the count. Next thing I'm in the recovery room in a wheelchair with my running short and flip flops on. My OB and the assistant where there with me. I said "I'm all pulled back together!" They said the assistant dressed me. I said "aren't you happy when people wear easy items like shorts and flipflops? I can't imagine you having to deal with skinny jeans." She laughed and told me those are not fun at all. She joked with the OB and said she'd let the OB try to a pair of skinny jeans back on someone who is passed out. We all got a good laugh.

As she wheeled me to the curb outside, the assistant made a comment to me about being drunk. I told her that my husband has never seen me drunk. And I certainly was in a state of falling down drunk. They both had to help me walk to the car. My husband had to even do my seatbelt for me. Can you say clumsy fingers? He even had to help me walk into the house because for some reason I couldn't walk in a straight line.

But once the anesthesia wore off, I was a broken mess. My uterus was not happy from being disturbed from its' natural state. I was cramping up a storm a good 4 hours after I got home. Four long pain filled hours before my two drugs finally kicked in hard. During those four hours I tried valiantly to sleep. But the pain only allowed me restless bits of five minutes or so here and there. Thankfully, my husband realized what a mess I was and called his office to let them know he'd be working remotely the rest of the day. He was able to surprise the kids and let them into the house.

My husband did have a long-standing class scheduled for tonight though so he's gone and won't be back until 10:30pm. Before he left he did make the kids their dinner. He even took the time to clean up the dishes. Yeah! He also told them the gameplay in the vent that I was knocked out when they typically go to bed. Showers at x time. Bedtime at y time. What's funny is that when I finally rolled out of bed at 5:30pm to get some more water in my jug that I gave the kids the same shower and bedtimes that he did. So he did take care of things when I was busy writhing in pain. Before he left, he came into the bedroom. I let him know that I never fell into a good sleep. He asked if I took my pain meds. I told him they weren't working yet. He asked what I wanted. I snuffled out 'I want the pain to go away..."

But like with anything, there's a means to an end. Hopefully for me, I'll end up with results like the anesthesiolost's assistant. That would be so awesome! Right?!?

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