Hard news to hear

I've been contemplating this topic for a while. I can't help but write about. It's bothering me so much.

A lady I've known for many years informed me of something that is going on in her life. She found out that her husband was having an affair with someone. An emotional affair. My friend found out that her husband was having an online email affair with someone. An affair that had been going on for a few years. A physical affair is one thing but I'm sure that for most women, an emotional affair is even more of a betrayal.

My friend was more than shocked to read the emails that her husband had written. The words that were written were so dramatically different than what her husband would say to my friend. I mean, there was smutty talk. I was surprised to hear the types of words that were written. I have no idea the trauma it caused my friend emotionally. I mean, I was disgusted to hear some of the stuff. SHOCKED is more accurate. I had to cover my ears and shake my head for her to stop giving me details. I couldn't stand it.

I know, you're probably wondering how my friend was able to read the emails. Her husband set up his own private email account. But he set it up under their joint AOL account, so she saw it in their AOL listing. He wasn't smart enough to set up a totally separate Yahoo or Hotmail account. So he got caught.

Not only was I surprised to hear about this betrayal, I was even more surprised to hear that my friend had confronted her husband. She told him that she had found his email. That she had read the emails he'd written to that other person. That she had DELETED the email account that he'd set up. That she knew what he was up to....but she was willing to work it out.

WHAT THE HE%@????

Yes. She told him she would forgive him. That made my head just about spin off my shoulders. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that she was forgiving him. But that is HER decision. It just surprised me in a big way.

So the two of them are working it out. They are still married. It's been 1 1/2 years since my friend found out. And she is JUST telling me. But man! She had such passion and anger in her voice when she told me. THAT is why I'm surprised that she's still married to him. That after all this time, she is still so filled with vile emotion over it. I mean, she was pissed to the 10th degree. And there she is still living her life with him. I guess I have to applaud her commitment, but I just don't understand it.

I did take the opportunity to share this news with the Hubs. He and I discussed what my friend told me. And I explained to him that if he ever did anything like that to me? That he'd be cut off at the knees. And he knows I'm serious.

It wasn't a physical affair, but would you forgive your spouse for doing this for over 3 years? Yes. This guy was doing this email business for at least 3 years. THREE YEARS! Now....what would you do if you were in this situation?

Where are they tonight?

My folks and 2 sisters live in San Diego. And you all know that there are a couple fires going at this time.

My folks, LilSis and Shorty live in an area that is pretty close to one of the fires. They haven't been TOLD to evacuate, but they're heading out in a little bit. My Mom is nervous about the situation. She wants to be pro-active rather than reactive. She'd rather head out now while the night is young, rather than be woken up in the middle of the night and having to race away from danger. My Mom is also worried about the air quality. My Dad isn't in the best of health and breathing in that smoky air isn't going to do him any good.

I just got off the phone with LilSis and they're packing stuff into the 3 cars. They are heading out to Sis#2 and Jello's house. Sis#2 lives in the North Coastal section and is away from any current danger. I spoke with Sis#2 and she is now getting the house ready. Getting blankets, sheets, towels and pillows out. She's got a nicely laid out home. It's a one story and it's spread out. Enough space for my parents, LilSis and Shorty to be comfortable in.

Now do you know anyone in San Diego? Have you touched base with them? Are they at home or are they evacuated? I know I feel relieved knowing my family is safe and out of danger. Blessings to all. I hope your families and friends are also safe.

1st Quarter meausrements

The Princess brought home her 1st quarter report card. I know she's an intelligent kid. I just know that I have issues with how she applies herself here at home. But at school? She's doing good. She received 3A's in all her categories (out of a 4 scale) in second grade.

What I find great is that her school uses computers to get the kids to work on their skills. And the programs actually monitor how each student is doing. The programs spit out at what point a student would "normally" master a skill in increments of grade level and month. So here is where the Princess is at...

Reading - start of year - 2nd grade + 3 months
Reading - end of 1Qtr - 2nd grade + 8 months

Math Concepts - start of year - 3rd grade + 1 month
Math Concepts - end of 1Qtr - 3rd grade + 6 months

Spelling - start of year - 3rd grade
Spelling - end of 1Qtr - 3rd grade + 4 months

Since they do utilize computers to do their core work, they are able to work ahead if they've mastered the core skills of where they should be at. And the homework that gets sent home is based upon where each student is at with the specific computer programs. My girl gets homework on skills she is still trying to master. It's cool. Then she and I sit down and go over it. I help her where she needs support. It's great that she's continually challenged with the things she's doing and not having to "wait" for other kids to catch up.

I'm still amazed that the first quarter is already done though. DONE! Only 3 more quarters left to go.

What's going on in there?

The kidlings went to the dentist last week. It was the Bear's first time, so I wanted it to be a double-visit. This way, the Bear could watch what was being done with his sister. I selected a pediatric dentist. I wanted the Bear's first dental experience to be a positive one. And (thankfully) it was a good visit. Granted, we had to wait extra long to get seen. I guess the dentist was having trouble with a [gulp] extraction.

The Princess got x-rays done first. Then the Bear got his done. He stayed still as a stone. The technician was a sweet gal, so the Bear (naturally) listened to her.

The hygienist was a gal as well. She did a nice job on the kids' cleaning. She did ask me if the Bear would be getting a flouride treatment, but I decided it wouldn't be a good idea. I saw how much it foamed in the Prin's mouth and I had a feeling the Bear wouldn't handle that situation well.

The dentist said the kids teeth look good. He told me the steps that we'd be going for with the Princess' "extra" tooth. Yes. My girl has an extra baby tooth up above her top left baby tooth. We're going to have to get that extra one manually extracted once she looses her top baby teeth. Did you hear that? An EXTRACTION! I'm going to have to definitely schedule that during winter or spring break. ARGH!

AND....last Thursday I went in to get my own teeth checked out and cleaned. My gums are good. Only one area that looks like it needs extra attention. I must tell you that the reason I actually went in is because my left jaw was aching. Not painful. Just aching. It was getting to that point where I didn't want to open my mouth too wide because it was cause discomfort. I wasn't sure if it was my nightly grinding (for which I have a night guard) OR if it was an issue with a tooth. I found out that my back left molar had 2 vertical cracks in them. CRACKS! I have a big old filling in there, so the tooth wasn't as strong as it could be. The solution? A crown.

Today was the first step. The dentist put some topical in my cheek and shot in some numbing stuff. He came back about 5 minutes later and asked if I felt numb. NOPE! He shot more stuff in a different spot and I was good to go. He had to take an impression of my tooth, take out the old filling, clean up the tooth, and put on a temporary crown. I guess there was some decay under my filling, so he had to do a bit of cleaning. Oy! There was grinding and effort. And I was fully awake. I just lay there with my eyes closed. I always lay with my eyes closed when I'm at the dentist. I don't like seeing all the equipment they use. I also don't like having that stuff close to my eyeballs! And since they were grinding and removing stuff, I didn't want any flying bits to get in my eyes. That's the LAST thing I needed (since I already wear contacts).

But now I've got the temporary crown in. I go back in two weeks to get my permanent crown. ANOTHER dental visit! That'll be my third in a month. But that can't be helped. I'm old. Thankfully, the rest of my mouth is fine. Just that one darn tooth!

I dropped out...I'm trying again though!

Remember how a couple months ago I was on a walking kick? I, unfortunately, stopped walking after I got sick. I never picked it back up. I mean, I was sick for over a week and I never got back in the groove.

I must tell you that this morning I started a new thing. I won't tell you what it is. But it's new for me. I think I'm going to like it. It's got aerobic and weight elements to it. So, it's stuff I've done before. A long time ago. So I'm sure it'll be pretty easy to get used to. It's just getting my lazy ass doing it on a regular basis. It's a 5 day a week program. And today was only the first day.

I'll give you my results in about a month. You'll be able to compare numbers in a few weeks from these ones.

Weight: 138 (which is the highest non-pregnant weight I've ever been)

Size: 8

Waist: 34 1/2 inches

Hips: 38 1/4 inches

I've got a "muffin top" situation. I just learned this term from my sister last month. But that's what I've got. For some folks, my numbers don't seem bad. But for my height and compared to the rest of my family, I'm quite large. My Mom & my oldest sister wear size 4. My younger sister wears a size 2. I can see in my face that I've gained weight.

In my past life, I used to respond pretty quickly to regular exercise. My muscle strength and endurance would kick in pretty quickly. But now that I'm 40? I'm not so sure. It'll be interesting to see. But let me tell you that I can feel some tension in my posterior already. Yup! It's a nice ache. Not pain. So it's all good.

But I'm trying. I'm really trying...again.

Overheard in the car

The Princess and I had just picked up the Bear from preschool. He was happily munching his granola bar. Both of them had their sunglasses on (as I had ALL the windows open since it was a nice day). Of course, it being just a granola bar, the Bear was done with it in no time flat.

I look in the rear-view mirror to make sure he's done AND try to locate where he's placed the silver wrapper. I see him leaning over and gaze at his sister intently. She looks at him and tilts her head.

I LOVE you Sissy. I missed you today.
I missed you too Bubby. And, of course, I love you too.

Then they put their heads together and their arms around each other.

Made my day!

Homeowner mishaps

It's happened to us all. Things just HAPPEN in the house. Issues crop up. Items that may require fixing. It's a constant reminder that YOU are the homeowner. That you need to take care of it.

When my family came out to help celebrate the Princess' birthday, everyone stayed here at the house. My folks had the master bedroom (as it's the only bedroom on the main level). The Hubs and I were in the Bear's room. LilSis and Shorty were in the guest room. My kidlings and my niece and nephew were all in the Princess' room. TEN people in the house. Like I mentioned last time, I'm so happy the birthday party was not here at the house!

When my family was here, I had a reminder that I am a homeowner.

LilSis: Grace? The outlet up here doesn't work!
Me: The bathroom outlet doesn't work? That's weird.
LilSis: Nope. I plugged the hair dryer into this outlet and the one on the other end too. Didn't work.
Me: Okay. I'll look downstairs to see what's up.

I went downstairs and checked the outlet in the half bath. It's located just under the kids 2nd floor bath. It wasn't on either. I checked the laundry room outlet, which was right next to the half bath and it WAS working. Okay.... I went into the master bath. Both outlets in there weren't working. Aha! There is that little GFCI thingy. It wasn't on. I reset that baby and [cha-ching!] it worked.

Me: Try it now!
LilSis: It's working!

Thankfully, this was an easy fix. Just flipping of the GFCI reset button. But this week, we noticed that we were out of ice. OUT OF ICE! We have an automated icemaker in our refrigerator. And we were out of ice. Big uh-oh! I'd heard that sometimes the tube that supplies the water freezes up. And that would require a repair person to come out and fix it. I DREAD when repair people need to be called in. I feel so not in control.

Me: Honey. The ice maker is NOT making any ice.
Hubs: It's not? For sure?
Me: This morning, I took the remnants out of the tray and there's no new cubes in there.
Hubs: Okay. Why don't I just try to turn the switch off and on?
Me: Sure. Try it.

And you know what? It worked! I guess for some reason it got stuck and didn't make any ice. I felt SO relieved once that darn thing started making ice. You wouldn't believe it. Isn't it crazy?

My neighbor had a yucky thing happen to them today. The kids and I went for a walk before we were going to eat lunch. They stayed home today after visiting the dentist this morning. And I wanted to get them out to run for a little bit before we settled back in the house for the remainder of the afternoon. They were running up the block and I trailed behind.

Neighbor1: Oh no!
Neighbor2: What's wrong?
Neighbor1: Look in there? That's DISGUSTING!
Neighbor2: Oh my gosh. THAT is what I smelled this morning.
Neighbor1: What're we going to do?

People? My neighbors were looking into their extra freezer in their garage. You know the overflow freezer? They had just arrived home and the husband was going to place a bunch of stuff in the freezer. Apparently, the freezer was off. And seemed to have been off for at least a few days based upon their reaction. It's only been in the 90s this week, so it would have taken a couple days for frozen items to thaw and decompose. Can you imagine? You come home from a big grocery shopping trip and you're ready to put stuff away...only to find a huge mess? Yes. That's a dose of reality hitting my neighbors in the face. I know what THEY were doing the rest of the afternoon. I'm just wondering if they're going to keep the freezer? or throw it out? What would YOU do?

So homeowners....what's the latest mishap that's happened in your home?

Food habits

I was making the kids some sandwiches just now and realized something. I ALWAYS bypass that first slice of bread. The piece that I call the "butt". As far back as I can recall no one in my family eats that first "mostly crust" piece of sandwich bread. We always would end up with the first and last slice in the bag. Always. But on French bread? We all want it. Why? Because it's flavored? I don't know why. It's just that WAY.

I've already mentioned in previous posts about how I have to eat a sandwich around the edges and THEN eat the middle, right? Yes, I eat the crust first. My husband thinks I eat sandwiches like a chipmunk. Taking nibbles all around the edges. You see, on the edges you might not get a full bite of lettuce or cheese or tomato. But the middle? You have all the sandwich elements mixed together nicely. And THAT is how I want to finish my sandwich. With all the pieces in my last bite. YUM!

But that just brings up how I put a sandwich together. I put whatever spread is being used all the way to the crust. Peanut butter. Jam. Mayonnaise. Mustard. I don't blob it in the middle of the bread (like the Hubs). I spread it all the way out. I cannot watch the Hubs make the kids' sandwiches anymore because it makes me too anxious. He also [gulp] globs the meat in the middle. I want to pull that slice out of his hands and spread it out! ARGH!

My kids don't like the corner pieces of lasagna. They only like to take the middle or side. And it's not like it should matter as we cut it into bite-size pieces for them. But yet? They KNOW if it's a corner. I guess the corner pieces have more crunchy top noodles?

What I really can't stand is the idea of people drinking out of milk or juice cartons. Fine if you live alone. But if you live with people? E-gads! I'm don't hold back on throwing the milk out if there's less than an inch at the bottom. But why does it get to that? Why didn't the person who used it before me just toss it? What's the big deal about throwing that jug/carton out? Enlighten me people!

Do you have any food habits that are the norm in your life or in your family, but might seem strange to others?

Heard just a few minutes ago

Excuse me. Why wasn't I told about the chocolate Teddygrams?

Was it the Bear that asked me this? No.

Was it the Princess who approached me with this question? No.

The Hubs. The HUBS! The Hubs loves those chocolate Teddygrams. He loves the chocolate chip Teddy Grams even more.

Apparently, he just saw the empty box in the trash and realized he hadn't consumed ANY of those dear little bears. I didn't realize that I was supposed to TELL him that I'd purchased a snack-treat for the kids (my niece and nephew came out this past weekend).

What kind of things are you supposed to inform YOUR spouse about when you've purchased them? Chocolate Teddy Grams? HA! A good bottle of wine? Donuts? Kiwis? Cheesecake?